acid reflex.

water drops from my eyes,
but i cannot call these tears,
because i do not feel the usual sadness all i feel is fear
because im done here
and ive seen here
and i want to leave but im trapped here
and i cant find an answer to this question
and i look and toss and turn in this dessert,
i cannot recollect recollections
and im stumped as to what im feeling
what drug was my dealer dealing because these hallucinates
have me floating in a nightmare,
in which the kiss that woke me into dreams,
only provoke a deeper scare
happieness is never where it seems
and im drowning where i was once floating,
and i couldnt tell you where im going
because im writing for no reason
you see love rots like an apple,
ripe for a season,
until it eventually happens,
maybe it doesnt for some or few,
but all im trying to discover was this nightmare,
and why my nightmare was you,

the deeper you tried to love
the more scared i had become,
and the longer you took to prove it,
the tighter hold i had on a triggared gun,
but if the truggar was pulled...

what am i holding onto,
empty.