the first person to love, is yourself

evening folks,
havnt written in a while, but tonight
something more powerfull,then a "OMG LAST DAY OF SUMMER"
article is in place. as young adults [teenagers] most of us get caught up
in being accepted, in feeling loved..
in having that other person at the end of the day to say
"dont dream of me to hard now" before you go to sleep
we strive on the fact that having someone in our lives is a key role in "growing up".
we alter and change ourselves to meet somebody else's standards
and diminish ourselves so that we are no longer who we are,
but a beautiful idea in someone else's eyes. we try so hard to fall in love..
that it no longer is love, its lust.
we try to do it so quickly, and meaninglessly that we trap ourselves
in a "in the moment" situation, where we just feel hurt in the end.
and then on top of that.. we question why we are hurting, why it failed
and why things never seam to work.
we hurt ourselves thinking that we arent good enough.
or that we are too fat
or we are too skinny
or our chest is to flat
or men.. why you're not "deezed"
or.. yea no mention needed [lol]
we always criticize ourselves.
just because a person didnt find our qualities "to their standards"
why is it.. in every situation, we are the ones with the problem?
why is it everytime a relationship [if you even want to call it that] fails, we blame ourself?
why are you at fault?
i use to do the same thing.
i used to lay and stare at the ceiling asking "what is wrong with me?"
wasted tears because i thought the root of the problem was myself.
when subsequently i should put everyone else after myself.
intead if foccussing on finding love in someone else...
i should start loving myself.

*i never gave myself the chance to believe; im better then what you take me for