failing to function.

hello world.
so im blogging.
im sharing a piece of feeling,
an oppinion,
a theory..
as to how im thinkin.

so i realize..
these days girls [including myself] complain about guys.
a lot. more than necessary. its like everytime a guy does us wrong,
we complain and generalize their whole species.
i just thought to myself. there must be somebody out there,
someone that will look at you and see the world in your eyes.
there is someone out there that will see you when youre sick and claim,
youve never looked better.
there is someone out there that will see the extra little chubby part on your stomach,
and consider it more to love.
there is someone who will watch all of your flaws, but say you're perfect.
the affection they have for you will cause blindness towards all that you see as, blemishes.
yea of course i wish i could say i knew who it was going to be,
and there are many times we feel we found the person we felt would be this individual,
but the truth is i cant say i know where that mr."built for me" is.
i never thought to think about the possibility that maybe there is a reason
maybe there is a point, as to why it hasnt happned yet.

maybe the surface of what im expecting, is holding me back
from finding the deeper connection im looking for.
maybe i myself am the reason i cant find an individual who will love and accept me.
maybe its my high expectation that is limiting me from what i need.
the typical guy i go for, never worked for me before..
so why do i chase the same thing now?
its like a child touching a stove continuously, you get burned regardless.
maybe the anxiety built inside of me feels it cant "settle"
and it just wants what has never worked before..
even though it needs what its been to afraid to try.